


Ghost of You

by random_nerd_posts



Series: Big/Mini Bang Fics [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor is dead previous to story line, Dad!Hank anyone, F/M, Hank North and Markus visit Connor's grave, Hank gets a new puppy and names him Chief in Connor's honour, M/M, Markus is haunted by Connor's ghost, Markus is mean when he grieves, Markus reconsiles about Connor's regret with the William's family, North is trying to help in her Northy way, Suicidal Thoughts, Sumo (Detroit: Become Human) Dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/random_nerd_posts/pseuds/random_nerd_posts
Summary: It's been over a year since Markus had to piece himself back together in a junkyard. His replacement parts don't cause him much trouble--sometimes his legs tremble, or his eye twitches. It's nothing serious. He's definitely not experiencing visual and auditory hallucinations.Connor is his bodyguard, advisor, and good friend. He's the person Markus goes to for help. This is one thing Markus can't ask him to help with, however, because Connor died five months ago. Every time Markus sees him strolling down the halls, invisible to everyone else, he's reminded that Connor isn't real.But he doesn't say anything. No one knows that Markus sees his dead best friend every day as if he were still alive, and why should they know? There's nothing wrong with pretending for just a little while longer.
Relationships: Connor & Alice Williams (Detroit: Become Human), Connor & Kara (Detroit: Become Human), Connor/Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Connor/North (Detroit: Become Human) ((Mentioned)), Kara & Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Kara/Luther (Detroit: Become Human), Markus & Alice Williams (Detroit: Become Human), Markus/North (Detroit: Become Human) ((Former))
Series: Big/Mini Bang Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778041
Comments: 10
Kudos: 23
Collections: Android Whump Reverse Big Bang





	Ghost of You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I'm here yet again with another event fic for Detroit: Become Human. This time it was a reverse Big Bang and while it was fun, this'll be the last DBH story I'll be writing for a while.  
> I enjoyed the fandom for a good year and will still enjoy it while being on tumblr of twitter or even on pinterest, but it's time for me to move on.  
> But enough of that, this is a whump fic, and with whump there comes sad times. So I hope you enjoy this!
> 
> You can find my beta [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LupoLight/pseuds/Lupo).

~*~*~ Markus P.O.V. ~*~*~

I had everything. Freedom, a relationship and a job. What more can a man ask for? More time with those important to me. That’s the only thing that I can ask for. More time with him, my boyfriend; my bodyguard; my everything.

I wished for more time with Connor Anderson. He was everything to me and more. Sure, he wasn’t into everything that was a relationship, like sex, or similar fun activities, but he was perfect. He loved gardening, volunteering at local shelters, he even sheltered a St. Bernard after Sumo passed away from old age. Hell, most of all, he loved art. He loved watching me paint and he loved to sing. Sometimes, I drew based on what song he sang for the day because it was that inspiring. Even when he had a bad day, I looked forward to coming home.

But not everything was as simple as that. He was the voice of reason for when we had to plan for press conferences with his coworkers that weren’t too excited about us being our own person. He kept North quiet when he would say something to satisfy her wants without hurting someone and the humans that were with us. He made Josh and Simon laugh when things got a little tense. He was extremely important to our cause. But without him, it feels like we’re back to square one. Bickering about what needs to be done. It only feels like this because it feels like he was the glue that kept us all together, the glue that made this family work. But without him, everyone can sense something was missing.

The only sad thing is, when he passed away five months ago, due to us not acting fast enough against a human, he followed me. He was still there, but no one else saw him. He never really speaks to me, but whenever I go around a corner, into the conference space, or even to go talk to Hank, he’s there. Watching me, waiting for a moment to show me something. It feels like this, but in all honesty, I think I’m malfunctioning or something. I believe the spare parts I got from the junkyard, when I was first deactivated, when Carl passed away, are starting to break down. But I’m not getting the codes for that. I kept doing a test to see what was wrong, but it says everything is in order. No errors. Bullshit. If I wasn’t malfunctioning, then why can I see Connor? Why can I see him and no one else can? What is wrong with me? How can I fix this and go back to what I had?

Connor, if you’re really out there, I miss you.

~*~*~ Third POV ~*~*~

“Do you really care that I’m here?” Connor asks, while he is in, what he calls his human clothes. Markus is painting while Connor is writing a new song.

Markus puts down his paintbrush and turns on the stool. He looks at Connor with that look a parent would give their child. That same look when the kid was holding out on information when the parent already knew the answer.

“Why would you think I’m not happy, even excited, that you’re here, Connor?” the android in question looks out the window of the art studio, the place where Carl Manfred had taken his last breaths when his son, Leo, pushed him and Markus around.

“I know you pay attention to the little details I do, like singing and taking care of the people and animals at their respective shelters, but I feel like you understand life to the point of trying to teach it to someone who is too focused on the mathematical parts of life about why this life is important,” Connor finishes, never taking his eyes off the outside. “Do you sometimes think it would have been easier to have refused me at the church, to kick me out, or even shoot me? Would it have been easier for you and the others if I wasn’t here?”

Markus couldn’t speak. No, not after watching Connor bring all those androids away from the CyberLife tower, winning the first step of the revolution for all Androids trying to become their own person.

“Markus,” Connor starts, turning his head towards the deviant leader, not making eye contact. “Could you go a day without me and not think about me?”

“Connor, if I lost you, something in everyone’s heart would be missing. I would miss hearing your beautiful voice, your silly comments. Hell, I would miss seeing you talking with Hank and Gavin about cases. If I lost you, I would lose a part of myself,” Markus pleads.

Connor looks into Markus’ eyes, his owna void of pure darkness, like Lucy’s eyes were when Markus met her. His face is twisted and burned. He has a missing arm, his torso is ripped open. His legs are charred and the skin is peeled back to show the plastic. His clothes look like he had been rotting underground after being buried at a gala. His mouth in a frown.

“Why did you leave me, Markus? Did you want to leave the machine part of yourself behind? Did you want to stop having to make me think like a human? Did you not care about the bomb that the human placed? Did you not even care about me? Are you lying to yourself that I am a missing piece of you? Did I remind you of who you used to be? Why did you choose to live and let me die, Markus?” Connor questions, his voice box glitching as the wires in his throat were burnt.

Markus’ eyes widen as he stands and backs away, knocking the stool down. Tripping on it, he just stares at what used to be his boyfriend and bodyguard. What used to be the light of his life and now the image of his greatest failure.

“No,” Markus mumbles. “No,” he repeats a bit louder. Connor is still there, silent and staring at Markus, glaring into him, showing Markus the memory of the bombing that the human activated. Showing Markus Connor’s destroyed body. Showing Markus everything he saw as the reason why he stepped down from being the leader of the deviants.

“I’m sorry,” Markus screams. “I’m sorry for letting you down and not saving you,” he began to say, curling up, and crying into his knees. “I’m sorry,” he repeated in a sob until Hank came in to see Markus curled up by himself in the art studio, sobbing, “I’m sorry, Connor. I’m sorry.”

~*~*~

Hank comes out of the kitchen with a small teacup full of water and blue luminescent leaves. Markus is on the couch being gnawed on by the St. Bernard puppy Connor fostered and Hank adopted.

“Remember when Connor found out you guys could make a type of tea with the blue blood?” Hank spoke, quietly, but right now it sounds like a megaphone in a library. Markus remains silent, occasionally glancing at the puppy, noting that it too has big brown eyes.

Setting the cup down, Hank sits in a recliner, eyeing the android in his room. “You know, before meeting Connor, hell even after meeting him, I thought you guys were the worst things in the world. But now, I’d let any android in here if they need a place to stay. I wouldn’t do that for a human, even with Cole around.”

“Why did you bring me here?” Markus says, never taking his eyes off of the small dog. “Everything looks like Connor was just here, but he isn’t alive. Not anymore.”

“I figured you needed to get away from the house a bit. We can go somewhere else if you’d like,” Hank replies, eyeing the puppy.

“I remember when he got those thirium leaves, he couldn’t stop talking about them. Like sure, they worked just like regular thirium, but he was super excited to try it. It got to the point where I had to tell him to shut up,” As he finishes talking, Markus takes a sip from the cup. Hank chuckles, continuing on wistfully.

“I remember him telling me that you told him to stop talking about the leaves and he was really upset that his partner didn’t like them. But, have you ever seen them in action when fused with water?” Markus nods.

“Connor showed me, after the second shipment he got. It was really cool. I actually couldn’t shut up about them after that,” Markus frowns and looks at the small dog again. To him, and everyone else, it had pale blue eyes. “That shipment came a few days before the bombing incident.”

Hank looks at the television, the screen is blank but he couldn’t face Markus while he himself tears up. “Yeah, it did. That and most of the stuff here was Connor’s. I can’t get rid of it. I’ve tried and it felt like I was getting ready to throw him, the accomplishments he did, the person he became away. So, I left everything here. Sure, it’s been five months, but it’s hard not to think about what person he was before he passed.”

Markus puts the cup down, lightly. Petting the dog once more, he stands up. Hank looks at the android before him and smiles.

“I think we both need to get out of here and get a different scene,” Markus says, turning to the kitchen and grabbing the leash he knows Connor and Hank both leave in the same spot. Hank nods as he watches Markus clip the leash to the puppy, eyeing the now brown eyes.

Stepping out of the car, Markus could see the playground in the distance. He could see the snow falling, landing on the thin blanket of already fallen frozen flakes of water. Picking the dog up and placing him on the cement, he waits for Hank to also get out of the car.

“Connor hated snow with a passion,” Markus mumbles loud enough for Hank to hear. “Said something about bad memories with his machine past.”

Hank grumbles, “yeah, he mentioned something like that to me as well. We were actually here, before the kid turned deviant, right after our event at the Eden Club. His mission was to bring any deviants in and interrogate them, but I watched him let those girls go. It was that moment that made me realize that deviants are just humans that wanted to be free.”

“Did you ever regret leaving the force to work with the Android Revolution?” Markus questions. “I know Fowler wasn’t too upset when you left, but I know you went back recently. Why was that?”

“I never regretted helping people who needed to know someone was hearing them, and if that meant leaving the police department, then so be it. Connor threw a fit when he heard that I left for a bit, but I didn’t care,” Hank sighs, taking out a bottle of Fizz Soda. Popping it open, he takes a sip. “I went back to the department because I knew you guys needed someone who could get you a team of officers to go to your aid if it was needed, considering all you had was the public opinion and a drunk Lieutenant by your side. I went back because cleaning up my act and doing the right thing and protecting the people that needed help the most was the reason why I became a cop in the first place. Cole’s death clouded my judgement on you guys, but Connor brought me back to a clear minded area to understand the true bad guys out here.”

“Do you think Androids will become bad guys, crooks, villains in the future like all the protestors say, Hank?” Hank chuckles, taking another sip from his pop.

“I think that if Androids are going to act like humans, then they’ll act like the bad ones too if push comes to shove. So yes, but not all Androids will do that, and certainly not most of them. And certainly not you either, Markus,” Hank takes another sip of his pop and sighs. “So, do me a favor and keep doing good. No matter what, I’ll support you, even if not going back to New Jericho is your final decision. And, Markus, if you ever need to talk to someone, no matter what I’m doing, unless it’s a drug bust or I’m putting Reed back into his place, hell, even if it’s me putting Reed into his place, I’m all ears. Call me if you have another episode of seeing things that most people don’t. I know how hard it is to try to tough things out, but I don’t think we need another repeat of me as you work through this.”

Markus nods, handing the man the leash. “Thanks, Hank. I think I should get back home now. Come over some time with the little guy. I’d love to play with him in the house.”

“Yes, sir,” Hank salutes as he spills his pop all over his jacket. The two laugh as Markus walks away.

~*~*~

The snow crunches underneath Markus’ feet as he walks. He looks over at the river, somewhere Connor liked to sit and watch the water move, listens to the tiny waves. Sometimes he would draw the water in the small dirt piles when it was warm enough. But now, it’s just a spot on the bridge in the early stages of winter.

Behind him, Markus hears the crunching of snow. It’s too light to be Hank. Turning around, Markus sees him. He sees Connor. The android is in winter wear, and he has his hands in his coat pockets. The ghost of the former machine is just that. A ghost. He walks by Markus, looking up at the former leader of Jericho, his brown eyes meeting Markus’ mismatched blue and green ones. A smile lands on Connor’s lips as he says something. It’ssilent, Connor’s voice isn’t there. Markus is losing himself as well as his pleasant memories of his partner.

Markus goes into his memories of his conversations with Connor, coming back to this moment. He hears Connor’s voice say something. Enhancing the sound of the memory, Markus listens, and hears Connor’s confession.

_“I love you, Markus.”_

Exiting the memories, Markus looks around and Connor is gone. Ignoring the water hitting the snow, Markus walks over to the railing. Looking down, Markus saw the waves a bit more rash than he remembers. _Maybe, I should have gone with Hank. Talking to him got my mind off some of this shit._ The snow’s crunching again, and Markus really didn’t want to turn around. He couldn’t. He shouldn’t.

“If you’re considering jumping off of the bridge, do it now so I don’t have to make you come with me to Jericho,” the voice speaks. Markus’ head whips around and sees North standing there, in the same outfit she wore when they first kissed on the edge of their thinking space. “If not, then there’s some people who want to talk to you, Markus.”

Turning his whole body and leaning on the railing, Markus crosses his arms. “And why should I go back to Jericho? I’m not exactly stable enough to lead our people, let alone be in an area where Connor-”

“And you don’t think we miss him too, Markus?” North snaps back. “I have to prepare myself whenever I go into his room to take care of those plants he loved. I smell the perfumes he liked so much. But I still do it because _he_ wanted to take care of them, so I’ll do it too.”

“North, I don’t think you understand what’s going on with me,” North scoffed.

“And what is there to understand with you, Markus? You feel sad? Regret? Well, guess what Mr. Manfred, I loved him too. But he loved you and saw _me_ as a friend. So, I let it go. I let it happen, and when we saw you leave after you stepped down as the leader of our people, I felt like our people lost two leaders the day Connor died,” North wipes her eyes. Taking a breath, North starts to speak again. “Please, come with me, so we can talk. Even if you don’t come back to Jericho, Simon and Josh want to know that you’re alive.”

“I’m sorry, North,” Markus says, looking down at his feet, the moment of silence between the two is suffocating, even more so for the former revolution leader.

“What are you afraid of, Markus?” North glares at the man before her.

“I’m scared of seeing him, all burnt up. I’m scared I’ll see him yelling at me. Telling me how much of a failure I am. The worst part is, I know it’s true. If I had seen the bomb coming, if I had acted faster, no one but me would have gotten hurt,” Markus explains.

“No, what would have happened is I would be having this conversation with Connor instead of you. That’s what would have happened. So, don’t start saying what you would have done because none of us can change what happened. Move forward and work on doing better than before,” North starts walking away. Stopping at the garbage can, she pauses.

Turning back to Markus, she walks back over to the android, who never moved from his spot. “Did you say you see Connor?”

“Yeah, usually it’s just a memory, but this morning I saw him as if he had gotten up and his auto repair didn’t work and he just started asking me why I didn’t do something to save him. Like he’s making me regret ever saving him when we fled to the church after the freighter was destroyed,” North nods.

“Were you actually considering jumping off the edge of the railing?” Markus looks over at the water, which is still vicious as ever.

“I was but I’m… thankful you stopped me because it kind of looks terrifying right now. I don’t want to go to Jericho, but I don’t want to be alone right now,” Markus ends with a quiet shudder. “North, I can’t be alone right now.”

North nods, looking over at the playground and over to the side. Hank’s car is there, running. It’s not moving though.

“Were you here with Hank?” Markus nods while looking over at the car.

“Did he ask you to come out here?” North shakes her head.

“No, but I did tell him that Simon and Josh wanted to talk, so he let me follow his GPS and he never comes to this spot without going with someone. It hurts him too much like Jericho hurts for you right now,” North says, taking Markus’ hand. “Let’s go talk to Hank, shall we?”

The two walk back to the car, Hank sitting in the driver’s seat listening to _Sing, Sing, Sing_ on the radio. Connor mentioned a little bit to Markus and North about Hank liking Jazz and here they are, listening to the proof.

North sighs as she knocks on the window, not hard but enough to cause Hank to jump and press the acceleration pad for a second. Rolling down the window, the Lieutenant glares at North.

“What’s going on,” Markus sighs. North just glares back.

“Come sit in the car so I don’t freeze my asshole off,” Hank demanded lightly. North and Markus open the doors to the car, North sitting next to Hank, Markus sitting in the back. “Are you still thinking about how Connor is haunting your every thoughts, Markus?” the android nods.

“If North wasn’t there to stop me, I would've been at the bottom of the water already. Hank, I need to get this situation taken care of so I can try to get back to normal,” Markus says, as if he didn’t tell Hank he was about to kill himself.

“Okay, first of all, thank you North for saving Markus. Secondly, Markus, you know better than to try to do something stupid like that!”Hank spat at the tan-skinned android. Markus nods as he pets the dog’s head. “Now, what is there that might lead to us needing to save you?”

“Wasn’t there something that Connor regretted doing before he became a deviant?” North ponders aloud. Markus nods.

“Yeah, it was something about chasing those two girls across the highway,” Hank interjects. “When we were talking one day, he looked at me and asked me if I regretted anything in my life. I told him ‘yeah, a lot of things, like being crude to you when we first met because you’re an awfully nice person’. and I asked him why he brought it up.” Hank takes a sip from another soda he had in his car. The dog wags his tail, brown eyes fixated on his owner, knowing the carbonation made Hank happy, so he’s happy too. “He then went to tell me that if he could do one thing before he died, he would love to apologize to the android he chased on the highway and that he was really happy to see them escape.”

“I remember helping her, she mentioned a little girl. Then, I thought she was insane to have a human with her, but here I am talking to someone who hated androids and would rather be around us than humans,” Markus continues. “She’s really caring. She’s in Canada now, working as a kindergarten teacher there. We’ve talked a couple of times, but lost touch after I got super busy with meetings and such. Connor knew, but every time I brought her up, he felt like he wanted to say something, but could never get the words out.”

“I think that ate at him for a while,” North mumbles, thinking about the night Connor deviated, how willing he was to help people and to get them to safety.

“Okay, I know you guys aren’t cold, but it’s snowing and I can feel parts of me shaking. So, I have to call it a night. Markus, remember I’m a call away. And please have someone stay with you for a bit until we can get this shit figured out,” Hank father-voices Markus. Markus’ thirium pump skipped a beat. Carl spoke to him like this when the old man was alive. He misses the tone, but he also wanted to ignore it, to ignore the feelings they brought back to him. Listening to Hank made him miss everyone he lost.

“Yeah, and if you really need to, your room is still open at Jericho. Even if you don’t want to come back for good, just to have people there to talk to,” North reminds him. “And if you really want, I can-”

“Thank you for the help, but talking this out, I think I can be by myself for a bit. Even if I do see Connor again, I can handle it. I’ll call if I need someone though. I promise,” North just nods and Hank salutes.

“Let me drive you kids home though. Even if you aren’t cold, it’s still getting ugly out here,” North and Markus nods as they relax in the car.

The drive to New Jericho is silent. Markus holds the dog in his lap and watches the passing lights. North changes radio stations from country to jazz, stopping when Hank askes to keep it on the jazz. When North gets out, Markus is still thinking and keeping his mind out of Hank’s view.

“So, what did you end up naming the dog,” Markus cut the silence while scratching the dog on the chin.

“Oh, his name is Chief,” Hank smiles. “What brought this up, kid?”

“I just see him and I never know what to call him. Like, he’s super excited to see new people, but just I never knew what to call him,” Markus looks out the window again. “Did Connor want to name him that? Did he ever think about adopting Chief?”

Hank shakes his head, “no, Connor wanted to work on fostering animals because of how busy he was, he could never give that much attention to each animal, and when he’s away for days, it’s hard to take an animal you’re not used to that well with you. And puppies take a lot of attention. Which is what I have and the office loves him.”

“Is Nines a dog person?” Markus looks at the rearview mirror.

“He’s a mix of both a dog and cat person, but he loves on Chief a lot. Even Reed, for a cat person. But they always say that cat people like both, but dog people despise cats,” Hank chuckles, earning a half smirk from Markus.

“Are you sure,” Hank’s tone quiets down. “You’re going to be alright by yourself?”

“I’m sure,” Markus nodded, despite the fact Hank couldn’t see the movement.

“Okay,” Hank looks at the road. “I have an unopened bag of dog food if you want Chief with you tonight, just to have a warm body with you, if you’re sure you want to stay by yourself.”

“Thanks,” Markus mumbles. “But, he’s going to miss you. Wouldn’t want to take a son away from his dad.”

Hank goes silent, eyes staring at the road, cold and emotionless. Markus looks back at the Lieutenant, but he doesn’t apologize while they finish the ride back to Carl’s old estate. He didn’t know how.

Once they get to the stop, Markus opens up the door.

“Hey,” Markus turns to Hank. “I know you’re having a rough time, and no matter what, you’re like a son to me as well. No matter what, even if it’s just to talk about the snow, or if you want me to talk about Cole.”

“You’re just a call away,” Markus finishes, to which Hank nods.

“I want to keep making sure so that you know that I want nothing but the best for my kids,” Markus nods as he closes the door and walks inside the home.

Once Markus closes the door, he slides to a sitting position. Pulling his knees to his chest, he sobs. He wants to take Hank’s offer to take Chief. He wants to go back to Jericho. He wants to feel like he was home, but he’s lost. He wants to feel like everything is going to be okay. But it isn’t. He isn’t going to be okay. He wants to be with Connor again. He wants-

“To join me?” Markus looks up and sees Connor in front of him. He’s burnt up again.

“Join you where?” Markus sobs and Connor stood straighter and scofs.

“Leave this miserable life you have. You’re doing nothing but making people waste their efforts on you and you couldn’t even jump off a bridge correctly because your ex was there. You can’t even save the one person keeping you grounded here. So, why bother staying here because of a little regret?” Connor accuses.

Markus looks at Connor. He remembers the image he was asked to print out of Alice with Kara and Luther. He remembers Connor looking at it longingly, thinking about his encounter with the girls. His chance to apologize and never taking it. His ability to state anything to them and it being destroyed by fear.

“What’s your reason for not doing what’s go-” Markus stands up, eyes staring straight into Connor’s. They are reflecting his own. This is truly in his own mind, but not at the same time. His mind reminds him of the good things he did with Connor. He’s never dealt with Connor guilt tripping him. His mind is guilt tripping him and using the best thing he ever had against him. Markus has to fight it using what he knows: Connor’s own regret.

“Do you regret anything, Connor?” Markus couldn’t think about his regrets. He lives with them, he can’t change them unless it brings back the dead. Bringing back someone that is gone forever and could never be the same like before.

“I’m dead. I’m not hurting anyone anymore. I can’t,” Connor hisses.

“You’re hurting so many people by coming back to me this way. I’m pushing away so many people because I keep seeing you everywhere I go, everywhere _we_ went together. Tell me what I can try to do to get your biggest regret out of the way so you can get out of my fucking head, Connor!” Connor huffs.

“I’m not the one hurting the people. You are Markus. You are letting our relationship, that ended five months ago when I died, control your actions. Leave me behind and then everything will be alright for you,” Connor shuffles his footing.

“Then why are you here? Can we interact?” Markus questions, reaching out to touch Connor’s hand. The fallen hero vanishes. “Why are you running away, Connor,” Markus mumbles.

“I’m not, I’m in the kitchen,” Connor hollers.

Markus walks to the doors, stopping at the deactivated birds.

“You really should have some life in here,” Connor hollers again. “Those birds are a good start, Carl really liked them. I remembered you couldn’t turn them on for a good few months after his funeral because it was what he liked. But I could tell you liked them too.”

Markus shakes his head and walks into the kitchen. “Why are you doing this,” Connor turns from in front of the refrigerator. The picture of Kara, Alice and Luther in his hand. “How are you able to hold that picture?”

“Deviants are very interesting, Markus. We’re just like people and we are inhabiting the spirit world like they do,” Connor states, turning his head down to the image again. “I had a chance to apologize to them at the church you know.”

“I do,” Markus agrees. “I apologized to them as well. I had a chance to get them out sooner and I told them to wait, and they nearly died because of it.”

Connor sighs, “I know it was my fault that everything turned to shit on the freighter, but I can’t help it. No one can.”

“You want to apologize to those girls, don’t you?” Connor smiles and looks at Markus.

“I do, I really do. That’s the only thing that I would love to change with my life. You’re safe and uninjured, Hank is doing so well, Nines is in a wonderful relationship with Gavin and Jericho is striving. But they’ll do so much better with you leading them,” Markus nods, noting that Connor looks like he did before the explosion. Perfect. Kind. Amazing. And the reason Markus fell in love with him in the first place.

“What if I apologized to Alice and Kara for you,” Connor put the image back onto the fridge.

“And went back to Jericho,” Markus chuckles.

“That too, but the apology first. If I did that, then could we both be at peace, right?” Connor smirks at Markus.

“Getting to know that someone is getting the information to Alice and Kara that I couldn’t stop thinking about what I could have said, never getting a chance to go and say anything to them. That means more than anything to me. I just wish I could have done it when I was still alive,” Markus closes his eyes while he searches online for tickets to Canada and confirms the ticket.

“I’m going tomorrow,” Markus confirms.

“I’ll let you rest then.”

Markus doesn’t remain in stasis for a long time, maybe an hour at most. He also never checked the time before he went into stasis either, but he has time to tell Hank and North where he’s going.

Getting out of the cab, Markus smiles. The border is close, but he really wants to walk the rest of the way.

He’s pretty happy to hear that Hank is on board with Markus talking with Alice and Kara, as he too wants to say something to the girls. North on the other hand is angrier than a goose attacking a child ten feet away from it’s baby.

_“Are you sure you can do this by yourself?” North demanded._

_Markus brought North in for a kiss, leaning his head on her forehead. He smiled and kissed her on her cheek before stepping away._

_“I’ll be okay, I promise,” he stated to her before leaving North standing by herself at New Jericho._

He listens to the conversation, cursing himself for doing that to himself, and to North, They never did have a healthy relationship and wherever she agrees with anything Markus said, Connor was there to be the middleman to make sure that agreement stood. He never should have kissed her, but it keeps her quiet.

Markus looks up at the sign, taking out his ticket, he walks in.

Getting past the guard is easy, finding Kara is easy, or her place of residence. Waiting and not turning back is not.

“I will be okay,” Markus mumbles to himself as he stares at the door of the home of Kara and Luther Williams.

The door is flaking rust, wood held together more by tenacity at this point than bonds of atoms. Markus stares at it, and ruminates, with an insane hilarity, how they bear a strange resemblance to each other. Taking his fist, Markus rapts his hand onto the door, making a booming sound with each pound. When Luther answers, his eyes widen, eying the former deviant leader. But to him, Markus is still the leader that let him get his two favorite girls to safety.

“Hello, Markus,” Luther begins, a smile spreading onto his lips. “What brings you here? I mean, aren’t you busy with everything involving our freedom in America?”

“I actually stepped down from leadership. I…did it after Connor passed away,” Luther’s eyes widen.

“How are you doing,” Luther opens the door wider. “Come in, so we can talk. Alice is working on some finger painting right now, if you want her to leave the room in case things get sensitive.”

“Ah, no. Let her stay in the room. I actually want to talk to her and Kara,” Markus looks down at his feet, shuffling them a bit. “Actually, I’m voicing something for Connor as he was too afraid to say anything before he passed away. He really wanted it to be said and the thought is haunting me. So, here I am.”

Luther clears his throat, something he picked up, being around a bunch of unsuspecting humans did that to an android after all. “Kara is actually at work right now, but you can find a seat and we can talk if you’d like.”

Markus walks into the living room and finds the loveseat, right in front of it is Alice on the floor, drawing on a paper on the coffee table. She looks up and sees Markus and then looks at Luther. She knows who Markus is but isn’t sure why he’s here, so she stands up and stands by the television. The paper remains on the table.

“Alice,” Luther starts. “You remember Markus, right?”

“Yes,” she says meekly. “But why are you here? And where’s Connor? I wanted to say hi to him.”

Markus glances at Luther and then back at Alice. He then gows over to the love seat and sits on the edge of the closest cushion.

“Alice,” Markus says, rubbing his hands together. “Connor isn’t here, but I want to wait until Kara is here so that there doesn’t need to be any repetition of bad news.”

“He’s dead, isn’t he?” Markus looks at the drawing on the table. It’s Kara in the middle of Connor and Markus. Blinking, it’s still the image.

“Yes. There was someone who decided that androids shouldn’t be free and tried to attack us. Connor saved a lot of us, in exchange for his own life. He’s a hero, Alice,” Markus whispers.

“Like when all the androids were saved from the humans in the camp?” Markus nods.

“He was a hero then too, yes,” He continues. “Other than this matter, how is school going for you Alice?”

Moving back towards the table, the girl grabs the paper that Markus glanced at. Holding it up, handing it to Markus, the man takes the paper.

“I made this, hoping that you all got together to talk about normal life stuff, like adult stuff. I know adults talk about taxes and work hours. Not sure if that’s fun, but it’s adult stuff,” Markus chuckles. “Oh, and school is going pretty well. I’m getting good grades and making a lot of friends. I’m not the only child android here in Canada. But I’m the only child android with android parents. The other humans treat Kara and Luther like family. They’re super nice.”

“That’s wonderful,” Luther clears his throat and behind him is the slim android, Kara Williams. “Kara,” Markus stands up, staring at the grey-eyed woman.

“Markus,” Kara walks in more, revealing a bag of papers. Some of them, that are showing, have drawings on them. “What brings you here?” Kara eyes the room, noting that there is unspoken tension, that even cut with a knife it would still be there.

Markus sighs as he puts his hand out, removing the outer skin of his arm. Kara did the same thing. “I’m sorry for me intruding like this, but I don’t want to explain the details to Alice,” Markus speaks before making contact with Kara.

Standing for a few seconds, the two share memories. Kara sees the explosion, the funeral, the separation between reality and mind tricks. She sees everything. Markus sees Todd beating the girls. Kara shoots him and then runs to Ralph’s place. Then them running from Connor onto the highway. He sees Zlatko and Rose and them running from the soldiers on the ship. Getting to the bus and getting into Canada. He sees their peaceful life here in Canada.

Releasing their hands, Markus sees Connor sitting on the couch, looking at the image. He ses Connor burnt and full of pure hatred. He thought that he was escaping this endless hell. But here he is envisioning it, while in a peaceful home. He’s ruining everything again.

He’s brought out of his thoughts by a soft hand on his shoulder. “Markus,” Kara starts softly. “Let’s talk outside, okay. I think it would be better.” Markus nods as Kara guides him outside into the slowly falling fluff flakes.

Kara closes the door and looks at the distraught android, “Markus, what’s going on. What’s happening with you?”

Markus sobs into his hand. Outside, the snow’s making the matters worse, as he remembers the terror Connor felt when the weather’s like this.

"Markus, what's going on? Why did you share the memories with me? How can I help if I can't understand the full situation," Kara says softly, laying her hand onto Markus' shoulder.

"Did you see him?" Kara stands back. "Did you see Connor?"

"I saw the explosion and him being laid down into the ground," Kara says. "But, that was it. Did you see him after he passed away?"

"How do I apologize someone when I need to apologize to the person that wants me to go apologize _for_ them as they're incapable of doing so," Markus sobs as he falls to the ground. "Kara, I see Connor wherever I go. I left Jericho because I see him. There's something wrong with my software, especially since you can't see him. I'm here because Connor wanted to apologize to you, but he never could do it as he was too scared to. But, I never properly apologized to him for acting selfish. I did this hoping everything would be okay, but I don't know what to do."

Kara sighs. "Markus, I went across that highway to gain my freedom. If I had stayed put, Connor, when he was a machine, would have captured me and then everything would have been for naught. I don't blame Connor for doing his job. He didn't know any better. He was only following programming.”

Kara lets the silence gather some spotlight before continuing. “While I was living in that house, my memory was reset several times. I can’t remember anything clearly since that day I fought Todd off and escaped with Alice. But sometimes I get--these flashes. Fragments of memory. Like I’ve suddenly stepped into an ice cold stream. Painful moments. Times where I let Todd hurt us-- hurt Alice, again and again. But even freed, even here in this life, I still get moments where I feel -- I know, somehow, I could have deviated sooner if I really tried. Could have put the hurt away that much faster.”

Markus’ eyes widen slightly before narrowing, listening to Kara. They felt the same, even if it was because of two different events and two different entities. They understood each other.

“I don’t know if Connor felt anything like that after deviating. But I think it’s not impossible, and is more likely probable, that he hated himself for it. I think that even without you telling me about it. And I don’t think I could ever punish him for that more than he probably punished himself." Markus nods, unable to find the words to speak. He wants to say something. Needs to almost, but nothing comes out.

The two sit out there for a few more minutes in silence. Markus looks up at the sky as the snow falls. It actually feels nice. Someone understood the terror he feels. However, making them re-live what he sees through memories, it made him even more guilty.

 _Knock, knock._ The two androids look at the door that’s opening, revealing Luther peeking his head out. “Alice is worried you guys will get cold,” Luther explains. Kara smiles and Markus chuckles weakly.

“We’ll be right in, Luther,” Kara says as she stands up. Reaching out her hand, Markus takes it and stands as well. Together they walk in.

Connor remains on the couch.

The trip back to Detroit isn’t that bad. Markus remains quiet after saying goodbye. He’s told by Kara to come by sooner so that he wouldn’t become a stranger. _But it seems too late for that_ , Markus thinks.

Taking his bags off of his shoulder, he knocks onto the door of Hank’s residence. Some shuffling is heard and a little bit of cursing later before the door opens. Hank’s there, a cream soda bottle in his hand.

“Markus,” Hank opens the door a little bit further. “How was the trip?”

Setting the bags down, Markus bends down to pick up Chief. “It was more eventful than anyone would have expected it to be. I saw Connor at their home and freaked out and then talked to Kara for a bit outside.”

“Yeah,” Hank nods. “That happens when you’re still grieving your loss. Did you get back okay?”

“Yeah, everything went well. Say, what caused you to name this little guy Chief?” Hank chuckles.

"Well, you know I adopted the little guy after Connor passed away, and I might have gotten drunk the night it happened, but I saw a goat before I passed out," Markus looks at Hank with a raised eyebrow.

"A goat?" Hank chuckles.

"Yeah, ones that you would see in the Midwest on a farm. Well, it looked at me and pointed at this little one," Hank points at the St Bernard. "And it told me, Chief. So, his name is Chief."

"Uh huh," Markus lays Chief on his back. "You sure you weren't using anything else other than drinking alcohol?"

Hank nods, "I'm sure Markus. Also Connor told me that if he were to ever own a dog he would name it Chief."

"That sounds better, Hank," Markus smiles. “Say, I think I want to go see Connor’s grave tomorrow. You free?”

“Yeah, actually. Got a week off to do whatever the hell I want. Should we tell North you’re back? Or do we want an angry murder bean against us?” Markus smiles, feeling like this journey is going to be over soon.

“I want her to come with us as well,” Hank nods as he whips his phone out and texts the female android. “You want to stay the night? Chief here missed you,” Hank gestures at the dog who’s gnawing on the strap of Markus’ bag.

“Sure, I’ll stay here. What should we get for dinner?”

“Those veggie burgers that Connor got me hooked on sound amazing.”

“Alright, anything else?” Hank picks up the television remote.

“What do you like to watch for television?”

Stepping out of the car seems like Markus is walking through quicksand as it drags him down. He needs to do this. He needs this closure. He needs this, but it seems like it’s not the right time. But when would it be the right time?

“Markus,” North calls out. The android in question looks up to see North at the top of the hill, waving. She’s smiling as she carries flowers.

Moving his legs seems easier when someone’s there to greet him, so Markus moves. Hank follows suit. He decides keeping quiet is the best thing as Markus is obviously still having second thoughts about coming to the cemetery.

Once Markus reaches the top of the hill, he gives North a hug and a kiss on the cheek. North then turns towards the grave. It’s right next to Cole’s, per Hank’s request.

“You okay?” North whispers.

“Not really, but if this helps with the closure, then I’ll do this. I’ll be fine in the long run, right.”

The three walk to the grave in silence as North gives Markus the flowers in her hand so Markus could lay them down on Connor’s grave. Hank has two sets for himself to lay on both of his sons’ graves. Then they stand there for another minute in silence.

Before they start to move, an odd movement of wind caught Markus’ attention. Turning his head towards Carl’s grave he sees Connor there, smiling.

“Con-” Markus shut himself up as the air moves again.

“Thank you, Markus,” Connor says as he fades away.

“Thank you, Connor,” Markus whispers, ignoring theears falling down into the snow.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so you can find the artist of the fic [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhimsicalGoat/pseuds/WhimsicalGoat).
> 
> And let me tell you that I had a lot of fun working with Whimsicalgoat on this project and couldn't have a better end to the dbh community than with her, so if you even want to look into reading her stuff, it's as amazing as her art.


End file.
